Selina had always been an animal lover: As a child she had kept a hamster as a pet for over two years, and afterwards she had kept him as a very small shrine with a cross made of lolly sticks tied together with string. This is the destiny of every hamster, and as such is something they are taught from an early age in pet shops.
As a teenager Selina had a pussy which was her constant companion, and about which NO jokes will be made at this point. When she heard that a petting zoo had opened nearby she was thrilled. The thought of a day spent fondling furry things was as dear a prospect to her heart as it would be to a teenage boy.
She was lucky enough to visit the place on a glorious spring morning when the prospect of new lambs made her heart sing with anticipation.
At the entrance she bought a bag of nibbles to tempt creatures even shyer than herself, and got up the courage to ask the rather handsome young man who was selling them for advice on finding her way around. He pointed to a pretty pond and suggested she start her perambulations there, and added with a smile that he would be on duty in the lambing shed later if she would like to drop by. Selina blushed in that ineffably becoming way which takes years of practice, and smiled back. “I’d like that”
The pond was lovely, edged with tall reeds, and reeded with tall hedges. There were swans drifting aimlessly like feathery divas in the sunshine, and a few moorhens pattering about on lilypads. Selina was slightly confused by this as she hadn’t seen the original hens, but they were all very lovely.
The path wove in and out around the edge of the water like a Hokey Cokey, and as she rounded a turn past some tall bushes, she suddenly experienced a goose which came upon her unexpectedly. What a surprise! Selina squealed in astonishment. But she was a nature-lover by nature and open to whatever it had to offer out in the fresh air. The man apologised for any offence caused and Selina assured him that it was fine as she was a keen naturist herself. He seemed pleased to hear this.
Eventually the path led to the goat enclosure. There were a lot of different kinds of goats, but they were unified by having large floppy ears, pendulous floppy things hanging from their necks, and one of a choice of two floppy things hanging under their bellies, according to sex. Some of them were friendlier than others. Without help it is impossible to distinguish these as all goats have mean-looking slitted eyes, even the nice ones, so the farmer had penned off the ones who liked attention. Selina had spent quite a long time there, stroking the various pendulous bits of the goats to their mutual enjoyment, when she noticed a sign over the door to a small barn which read “kids in here”. Quite a lot of people were going in, many of them adults, so she supposed they were not too strict about things.
It must be interesting she thought, so she went inside and found it was full of pens in which there were baby goats. They were incredibly cute, being very bouncy and having not yet developed the dangliness of the adults.
She picked one up which seemed to have tired of bouncing for a while, and sat down with it on her lap. It lay there contentedly, enjoying the warmth of her young, firm body. After a while it had revived a little and was feeling hungry. It squirmed in her lap and nuzzled at her clothes. It being a warm day, Selina was wearing a thin dress with a button front. This was scarcely adequate to contain her volumpty bosom under normal circumstances (a fact which the Young Man who offered her his nibbles at the entrance had noted)and once a baby goat started to forage around, the dress had all but lost. Selina, engrossed with the little goat, was oblivious to any audience, and found herself rather enjoying the experience. She was flushed and giggling when the Young Man stepped forward to help her. The baby goat thought it had struck milky gold, and was nuzzling deep into Selina’s dress. He was therefore, unfortunately, obliged to follow its muzzle deep into her cleavage. He tried to be professional, but what could he do, especially as a few strained buttons undid themselves in the process?
“I’m SO sorry!” he said, his trousers belying him. “Come to the lambing shed, It’s more peaceful there”
Selina nodded, and assured him she was fine.
The Young Man had strong eyes and a twinkling jaw, and when he smiled at her, she felt flutterings in her heart and parsley patch. She tried to say that she was heavily into petting, but somehow the look in his eye made it come out all wrong.
Selina buttoned herself up with difficulty and followed him. He pushed through the small crowd which had gathered. It parted for him with the respect due to a farmer wielding a large tool and about to go work. Selina followed him.
The lambing shed was indeed more peaceful. The lambs in there with their mothers were very tiny and had not reached the bouncing stage. The Young Man led Selina past several pens to one which contained a ewe with two very young babies. Selina was enthralled
“They’re so tiny!” she exclaimed “they’re just kids!”
The Young Man corrected her. “No. We call these lambs”
“Can I hold one?” she asked and he gathered one up and placed it gently in her arms. He was so very careful for the safety of the lamb that he pressed the warm bundle securely against her heaving jubblies and held it there for some time.
She sat down on a straw bale and cuddled the tiny lamb against herself, stroking it to reassure it.
“Can I get it to do that nuzzling thing?” she asked “I liked that”
“So did I” the man replied. “I’ll see if it will” He helped the lamb into position against her soft, inviting cleavage but it just made a faint bleating sound, or possibly it was the man who did that. But the lamb just snuggled down and went to sleep. He sat down beside Selina on the straw bale, watching the lamb with envy.
“It’d be nice to be a lamb” he mused thoughtfully, and stroked the little creature as he gazed into the middle distance. After a few moments Selina cleared her throat softly.
“That’s not the lamb” she said, everso quietly. “But don’t stop”
He didn’t. It was soon necessary to put the lamb back with its mother to avoid it being crushed. The poor thing felt it had a lucky escape having narrowly avoided smothering by mammaries.
They laid back on the bales. Straw is spiky and there are a lot of pricks. She wriggled delightfully on it…
“Something’s sticking into me”
“Oh dear! That’s the straw.”
“I don’t think so” said Selina “Unless the baling machine caught a broomhandle in its works”
She insisted that it was fine though as she was keen on nature. The Young Man was similarly enthusiastic about being in fresh hair, and having worked with lambs for years, was an expert at handling teats.
Eventually he showed her his vegetable patch and let her sample his prize marrow into the bargain!