Dorothy was looking forward to having a new bathroom: the old one was tatty and there were marks on the walls and floor where pipes had leaked. The shower cubicle was rickety and wallpaper was peeling in the corners. It needed a thorough going over. Like Dorothy.
She had spent a lot of time choosing her new tiles, and the fittings.
She was now ready to get a man in.
Thus, she had been delighted when a colleague recommended Luke: “Luke the Leak” they called him. He had done hers apparently, and made such a lovely job that she was planning to get him back to give her kitchen the full works too.
Dorothy was delighted with him: he was tidy and organised, worked efficiently, and was always whistling and humming to himself. He seemed to enjoy what he did.
He had come to have a look round her fixtures and fittings, and had been impressed with his thoroughness. He had poked into all the crannies, including dusty corners which had not had any attention for a long time. Finally he said that he thought her pipes were all in a good condition but if she wanted him to rip off the old coverings and screw in some fresh new fixtures, he was more than happy to oblige.
Dorothy asked him for a quote
“To be, or not to be. That is the question” he replied, before handing her a small piece of paper on which he had jotted some estimates.
Dorothy was so impressed she wanted him to start straightaway. Luke had to disappoint her: There were a lot of other ladies lined up waiting for him, and he had to do them strictly in order so as to be fair. Dorothy was disappointed, but admired his fair-mindedness.
Eventually though, Dorothy reached the top of the list and Luke arrived to sort her out.
She welcomed him with enthusiasm. “I hear they call you Luke the Leak” she said, smiling.
He laughed “Yes they do!”
“I love leeks, actually!” she replied “Steamed. Yummy!”
There was a pause, during which Luke noticed Dorothy’s eyes. they had always been there, but suddenly he found himself gazing into them, and enjoying the moment.
“Tossed in butter. That’s the best” he said.
Dorothy let out a little gasp
“I’m sure you’re right” she whispered breathlessly
The weather was very warm and he left his overalls undone. Dorothy could tell how physical the work was from the pattern of abdominal muscles which wriggled like a sack of puppies as he carried his toolkit in.
“Heavy equipment I expect!” said Dorothy shyly as he squeezed past her in the hallway.
(She had made sure to stand there, even though it was quite narrow.)
Luke glanced down anxiously, put down the hammer drill he was holding and did up a button on his overalls. “Sorry” he said, before continuing down the hall.
“So, I’m starting with stripping all this off?” Luke waved an arm to indicate the wallpaper. Dorothy nodded. Not looking at the wallpaper at all, as a matter of fact.
Luke knelt down in the corner by the shower, examining it.
“Are you wanting me to check all your pipes, just in case?” he asked. Dorothy was wanting that.
“I’ll give all your joints a bit of a tweak, just to make sure they’re tight. Are you sticking with this shower system, you just want a new cubicle?”
“I’m not sure” she confessed. “The cubicle needs to go definitely. But I haven’t decided about the shower itself”
“Is it powerful enough for you?” asked Luke, standing up again so she could see all the muscles working inside his T-shirt.
“I can put you a pump in if you want more oomph”
“Who doesn’t?” Dorothy exclaimed.
“OK” he said “I can pump you up to about twice the pressure you are now. That’ll give you a much better soaking”
She was all for that.
“Have you chosen your tiles?” She had
“Am I doing you full height or half way?” There was only one answer to that: “Full height”
Luke rubbed his chin thoughtfully, in that way which defines a properly trained workman.
“So I’m stripping off everything, paper, old tiles, the lot?” Dorothy nodded, her mouth dry at the thought.
“Then I’m tweaking all your pipes, giving you a good pump, and then I’m putting in a new cubicle. Is that right?”
She nodded again.
“I’ll have to turn the water off to do the plumbing work. Are you Ok to have it off tomorrow morning?”
Dorothy smiled broadly.
“Why wait?” she said, adding
“It’s awfully warm, don’t you think? You must be hot in those thick overalls”
Luke turned and looked at her: she had dressed carelessly this morning – she had forgotten several buttons of her tight blouse, which was at this moment struggling to maintain order amongst the romping breastage within. Although it was so warm, there seemed to be two little spigots pushing through the fabric.
“Put down your spanner” she whispered, the words lingering on her soft fleshy pink lips, as if her lipgloss was too sticky
Luke was embarrassed. He took his hand out of the pocket of his overalls, blushing slightly.
“No” said Dorothy urgently, “that one”. She pointed at it
“That’s a wrench” said Luke… “THIS is my spanner”
He let his overalls slip down to the floor, and gathered Dorothy into his strong plumby arms.
Being an organised workman he began with stripping everything so he could see what there was to work on. He gently adjusted the bolts, went over all the pipework with extreme care, (full height of course) and gave Dorothy a powerful pump with plenty of oomph.
This kind of thorough going over had definitely been worth waiting for